...Focused
...Detailed
...Honest
...Dedicated
...Defender of the underdog
...Fierce encourager
...Boring
I'll let that last one sink in for a moment. It had to for me. Initially, I did not take too kindly to the accusation nor to my accuser. He meant it as an insult and I took offense, but as I forced myself to listen quietly to the evidence ranting from our aggravated, teenage son, my attitude lessened. It took a minute to realize my being boring was an answer to a long-standing prayer.
Growing up, life was far from boring. Try chaotic, volatile, painful, confusing, unclear. In a word...dysfunctional. To function with any normalcy meant to retreat into a world where television and books filled in the landmines left by the violence and abuse. Though I survived my childhood feeling connected to and comforted by my surrogate circuits and disconnected to my family dysfunction, no channel or chapter prepared me for living the "real" life as a healthy, functioning adult.
Can you relate? The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew solved the mysteries. Mrs. Livingstone brought balance (and a hot meal) to little Eddie Corbett and his dad's courtship. Carol Brady knew how to raise a blended family and depend on Alice in the kitchen. Schoolhouse Rock taught us how much fun learning math, history, geography and grammar could be. And when times were rough, even Florida and James Evans knew how to put the good in "Good Times!" We believed them when they said, "Ain't we lucky we got 'em!" No matter your childhood chaos, I bet you prayed the same prayer:
God, help me see my life your way because
living my life like this is insane!
With time, God responded...
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!"
When my parenting tactics fell on deaf ears, I blamed the problem on my child's strong-willed nature. In my mounting frustration, I thought I followed the scripted leads from my childhood books and shows. I made several attempts at mommy-son bonding time...failed. I tried dozens of times to serve homemade treats on a platter of wisdom...bombed. I reasoned every angle imaginable with grand intentions of getting MY point across only to be met with, "whatever."
"WHATEVER! Oh no, you just did not dis me!
Who do you think you talkin' to!"
This time, God responded AGAIN...
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18)
In that instant, I had become my past and there would be no commercial break in this well-placed tension. Sooner or later, real life catches up with us. And if we've lived it disconnected from our dysfunction, one day some thing or some one will come along and connect us to it. Will it be a rude awakening or an amazing revelation?
God, help me see my life your way because
living my life like this is insane!
Part 2 of Accused of Being Boring..."As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Psalm 27:17).
1 comment:
Doris, Thank you for your openness and honesty. I like your question at the end regarding a rude awakening or an amazing revelation. Yes, a great thing to ponder. Hmmmm....
You are a beautiful, gifted writer and a sweet friend. I pray you and yours have a Happy Easter!
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