WHAT MORE CAN YOU SAY?

Proverbs 21:23 – He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

We can’t help it. It’s in our nature to contribute more than our 2¢ to a conversation. Whether kibitzing over whom in the family makes the best tuna noodle casserole or coffee klatching over who deserves to preside in the White House, we have strong opinions and we believe they’re worth a listen. But in the heat of exchange, the price of words can cause dissension, strife and division, if we’re not careful.

Over the years, even heart-to-hearts with my own siblings proved costly. Due to the recent death of my father coupled with tending to my mother’s life-threatening illness, I’ve experienced more than a few harsh words being exchanged in the name of love. And I’m ashamed to admit to being a squeamish participant in one or two of those heated discussions. Did I say something I shouldn’t have said? Sadly, yes. It’s so easy to give in to our human tendency to “speak our mind.” But in the words of elders everywhere, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

(Picture from turnhimintoabetterdad.com/blog)

That’s why the sage advice found throughout Proverbs is worth its weight in gold. Solomon and others knew the power this muscle called the tongue contained. From a small spark to an out-of-control forest fire, an uncontrolled tongue can wreck havoc. But “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:27, 28).

In adversity, great wisdom lies in giving God full rein over our tongues. We learn to walk away when our contribution to the conversation will only escalate the situation. We are taught to find a way to redirect negative comments up to God silently in prayer. And if stepping away from the “fire” is not an immediate option, we can propose a cooling-off period to extinguish the potential flames smoldering on our tongues (again, something I should have done recently with one of my siblings).

By giving God rein, our creeping bitterness soon abates and a budding desire for sweet words slowly abounds from our lips. And with God what emerges from the depths of our being is less discord and more harmony, less disagreements and more empathy, less criticism and more praise. ”My lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous” (Psalm 119:171, 172). And with that depth of wisdom and understanding, what more can you say?
Full Embrace

1. Recall a recent experience where you spoke your mind. Did it cause discourse between you and the other person?
2. Have you ever had problems controlling your tongue?
3. Recall a recent experience where you used wisdom to hold your tongue. Explain what happened in the process.

An Encouraging Word – Dear God, with the same tongue that formulates words of adoration and praise, refrain it from devising words of dissension and criticism. In adversity, teach me Your decrees. Let not my tongue rein over my body, heart, soul and mind. If the words I say bring no edification to You or to the body of Christ, like a flame to a wick, snuff it out before it sets the relationship ablaze. AMEN!