WHATDOESITMEANTO 101

Just once I’d like my words to resonate with my teenager. Wouldn’t you? You give correction, but even when they’re dead wrong, they would rather die than admit it! Defeat? No such word in the T.V. vocabulary (that’s Teenage Version).

For the most part, he’s a good kid. He’s hard working, friendly, funny, considerate of others who can’t speak up for themselves, polite and respectful. But translate that language at home, and it is as foreign as the Islamic regime interpreting the Geneva Convention peace treaty. Every word spoken is like an insinuation. Every attempt at a half-way descent conversation is misconstrued as an interrogation. While driving to the store the other day, I thought I’d stay on benign subject matter. “Hey, what color would you paint that house over there?” “I wouldn’t!” Withholding an internal sigh, I then asked, “Well what color do you think dad would paint it?” “I don’t know!” “Honey, I’m just trying to make conversation.” A shrug of his ambivalent shoulders caused the A/C to crank up at least a few degrees.

It takes love and patience to raise our children. I’m no statistician, but I can predict with 100% accuracy that if we have children, they will turn into teenagers. And they will morph into more than the sum of their childhood parts. We just need to stay the course and to keep focused on Christ when those “morphed” parts challenge our parental ground. When they are ambivalent, stand your ground. When their responses are hard to pin down, stand your ground. When they would rather negotiate than cooperate, stand your ground. When their brand of communication consists of glares and grunts, stand your ground.

There may be times when the perfect answer in the moment seems elusive. But we serve a perfect God who created teenagers in His image as well. He alone knows what to do in those moments that aren't so perfect. Am I there yet? Truthfully, no, but I'm aware of my humanness. During the pre-teen years, I use to mushroom in retaliation, arguing with my son like a mad woman. I cried out to God asking, "What's my child's problem!" The proverbial plank and speck had emerged and "whatdoesitmeanto 101" became recurring lessons to this day. What's "whatdoesitmeanto 101"? Well...

• What does it mean to extend forgiveness
• What does it mean to show mercy
• What does it mean to love unconditionally
• What does it mean to listen when we'd rather teach a lesson
• What does it mean to stand our ground
• What does it mean to walk away from a fight
• What does it mean to re-engage after a tense conversation
• What does it mean to p.u.s.h. (pray until something happens)
• What does it mean to truly connect with our teenager

Parenting a teenager is tough, but the way I see it, God fully equips us for the task. He strengthens our words to pray. He expands our hearts to love. He builds up our courage to trust. Defeat? In Christ, there is no such word in the P.V. vocabulary (that’s Parenting Version).