COMFORT FOR THE BROKENHEARTED WIFE

Who doesn’t dream of her wedding day? And with an entire industry devoted to making those dreams come true in the details, it’s no wonder a girl dreams big. From garter to garnish, designer dresses to decadent desserts, caterers, jewelers, banquet hall staff, clergy, event and wedding planners alike make it their life’s mission to ensure “happily ever after” gets packaged with the “I Do!”

But once the gifts have been opened, the honeymoon bags unpacked and life settles into its normal pace, many women find dream weddings don’t guarantee a perfect marriage. What do you do when every year becomes less blissful and more painful? What do you do when the option of marital counseling falls on deaf ears? What do you do when the man you promised your heart to doesn’t want anything to do with his “I Do” promise? What do you do with the anguish, the isolation, the neglect and the increasingly loveless existence?

Where is your comfort, brokenhearted wife?

I don’t claim to have all the answers. I do know who does. That’s not a trite response, but a covenant promise from the Lover of your soul.

A few years back, Dan and I hit the darkest point ever in our marriage. A slow accumulation of past baggage, life’s mounting disappointments and how we communicated our true feelings kept tensions thick. Deep down, he feared losing his best friend; I feared losing my way back into our marriage. Love had nothing to do with our situation; unresolved hurts did.

We needed help. We cried out for help. We sought help. Help was NOT easy. Never is. Even if it means you get help for yourself, get it. You are of no value TO yourself when you find no value IN yourself.

Surround yourself with accountability. When we isolate, we vacillate. We second guess God’s irrefutable words for insults, slights and slams to our character. When He says we were “fearfully and wonderfully made,” that does NOT mean we are “good-for-nothing” women. We need to remember God speaks truth over us and He uses trusted vessels such as counselors, clergy, friends and loved ones to carry out His noble cause. It’s when we feel less-than surrounded in our own home we need to cling to this promise...

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present

help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

Set your affection aright. Nadia (name change) just epitomizes godly character. Though her husband is diagnosed with a degenerative, neurological disease which causes him to become verbally abusive at times, this 80+ year old sweetheart continues to bless and pray for his salvation. When it becomes particularly difficult, she sets her gaze upon Jesus who loves her. It doesn’t stop the tears from flowing, but she finds comfort in Christ for her broken heart. It is that same comfort which gives her the unconditional love she needs to love her man without conditions.

I pray, like He did for Zion, that “the Lord will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing…Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have my law in your hearts: Do not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults” (Isaiah 51: 3, 7).

Blessings!